Change is good…right?

Hi Everyone!

Sometimes life deals us a weird hand that were completely not expecting. It can change our world entirely, sometimes for the better, and sometimes in a not so great way. As I lot of you know I have been struggling to roll with the punches over the last couple of years when I was thrown a curve-ball in my career that rocked not only my income but my whole life, including how I viewed myself.

As someone who has always had a fairly consistent vision of what I want my life to look like spending my 25th, 26th and 27th years in a roller-coaster of bad luck, and what I am referring to as my quarter life crisis, was not part of my plan and really did a number on me. Even though I initially decided to blog full time in 2011, after 2 years of consistent posting, my posts actually became further and further apart to the point where I would go months at a time without touching base and then apologizing for it later. Looking back on it I know that it was a big part of my bipolar disorder and high anxiety level that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to revert into a little shell followed by the guilt of my absences pushing me away even further. It all came to a head in 2013 and I realized that I needed help and in a big way in order to get my life and myself back. I was lucky enough to have a very strong support system with my family who weren’t afraid to give it to me straight and pushed me to get the help I needed.

After finally getting diagnosed for my mental and emotional instabilities I found that I was starting to feel like my old self again for the most part, but finding a career path and deciding how involved I wanted to be with the blog world was still a big web of uncertainty. After spending almost 3 years unemployed aside from part time and contract work here and there my confidence in my abilities was low and I couldn’t imagine trying to empower others through my site and social media when I couldn’t get my own life under control. Needless to say I have now taken the time necessary to work my way out of the hole I dug myself into, have found a new career that I absolutely LOVE and feel my passion for empowering others is enriched by, and am ready to talk about where I want to go from here. I have tossed around the idea of throwing in the towel completely and shutting down my almost 5 year old blog simply to release myself from the guilt and anxiety it has created for me, but instead decided I am finally at a place where I can conquer those feelings and move things in a direction that frees me from the past shoulda coulda wouldas but still allows me to be part of this world and have you all as a part of my life. I’m not going anywhere but I do want to handle blogging differently.

Apologizes don’t matter at this point, and I’m not going to commit to a big plan of action. Being the control freak that I am it is very difficult for me to stay away from structure, plans and schedules but those are the types of stressors I don’t want to affect me. I need this to be a much more casual experience and need to go back to the basics and considering my blog a hobby instead of a business and have fun with it again. No comparing myself to others no checking the numbers. So I guess that’s the plan, I am going to work on posting and not hiding from my blog and will be here when it feels right, while covering what is important to me in that moment. This is still a plus size focused space, will still be about my life, and will still include fashion whenever the mood strikes, but also a lot more that I have learned In my journey and am still learning now. It should be a fun ride and I am ready to get to know you all again!

Here’s to a brighter future on Stiletto Siren and the next chapter of my life. More to come soon!

Xoxo
Stiletto

“You’re The Hottest Bitch In This Place” Love Drobe Review

Hi Loves!

Sorry but I need to head out the door to work so this post is going to be a quickie. Posting has been really tricky lately as I am running through life with a really full plate and not enough hours in the day. But here I am and let’s get to it!

Check out what I wore to work yesterday:

Stiletto Siren

 

Black Sweater: Lane Bryant/Cream & Black Wave Sleeveless Button Up: LoveDrobe (Gifted)/ Black Leggings: Torrid/Black Wedge Lace Up Booties: LoveDrobe (Gifted Years Ago)/ Unicorn Necklace: Gift From Mom

 

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This outfit reminded my of Cher’s in Clueless when she is headed to her driver’s test and was looking for her most serious outfit. “Where is my collarless shirt from Fred Segal?????!!!!!”. Let me just say that this top from LoveDrobe is FABULOUS, I really love it and have been working on a way to wear it during the winter which I think I finally achieved. I received mine in a size 22/24 because I wanted it a bit oversize and it fits really great and true to their size chart. This is not junior sizing and I really appreciate that. The material is sheer but a nice quality and I absolutely love the wave print that goes all the way down the front and the low dipped back too.  It is honestly a perfect top to wear with leggings since it covers the booty so well. The black on the sides makes this top extra flattering which is icing on the cake! This is the second time I have worked with LoveDrobe, the first being these wedge lace up booties that I seriously wear at least once and week, and again I am 100% pleased with their product, their customer service and the company over all. Such a great place to get some cute and trendy plus size clothing for a great price.

What do you think? Would you rock this top?

xoxo

Stiletto

Put away for winter, how H&M tossed us aside.

Today I hit the Boise Towne Square Mall with my Mom and had a little pre birthday shopping spree. I don’t do a lot of shopping locally, not just because I am a techy online ordering kind of  girl, but also because the Boise area offers so very little for plus size consumers. Shame on them for only providing us with two Lane Bryant stores and plus size sections in Maurice’s and H&M that are so small and bleh that it’s not even worth the gas to get there.  With this bleek reality in mind I hit the mall in search of shoes and a nice handbag, both of which I brought home with me.  During my trip I had an interesting set of experiences that I felt were worth sharing with the community. I have good new and bad news.

The bad news. While I was there I decided to pop into H&M  to see if they would magically have something that I could settle for to feed my manic shopping desire. I headed to the back of the store, money in hand, where the menial plus size section exists in an eerily quiet manner.  I came to find the prior plus section filled with Christmas sale items, none of which in a size 14+. I tracked down a H&M employee and asked where the section had moved to and was told in the sweetest way possible that they had decided to move their plus sizes off of the sales floor to make room for all of the Christmas sale items.

Insert here my jaw hitting the floor followed by every part of my body moving to full sassy “oh no you didn’t” position.

Hearing this choice from H&M not only offended me but also offended my mother who is not plus size as well as an older woman who was also looking for plus sizes to purchase as gifts for her Granddaughter.  The sales associate also expressed that she was displeased by this disrespectful and discriminatory choice of her employer.

The good news. This associate, even though she herself was not a curvy chick, then informed me that the Forever21 upstairs now carried plus sizes. She again expressed her sincere apology for her company’s foolishness and mentioned that she had worked for Forever21 before and wished she was still there, especially now that they are offering plus sizes in store and catering to the needs of the average woman in America who is a size 14.

If you know me, you know that I really enjoy the Forever21+ line. I purchase from it regularly online and feel like they offer cute pieces that are on trend at really reasonable prices. My only issue with them ever has been that I couldn’t shop in store in Boise and now that’s not a problem. As I left H&M promising myself that I would never enter that store and give them my money ever again I was also excited to go hit up a store that actually catered to my sizing needs without being dowdy or made as if all plus size women must be 6 feet tall (cough, Lane Bryant, cough). I ended up finding some really great pieces and left with a smile on my face, an empty wallet and some new pieces that make me feel like the fabulous fat babe that I am.

While this experience worked out for me I am still really bothered by the choice of H&M to toss their plus size customers to the side like a worn out toy. Wasn’t it just in the last year or so that H&M started carrying a small range of plus sizes and campaigned that they cared about their curvy consumer and wanted to give them fashionable options? How quickly the tides change.

Through this choice H&M is projecting the idea that the plus size woman does not need consistent fashion resources and that they should just be happy that they carry clothing for “fat women” the rest of the year.  They expect us to tolerate their abuse and blatant disregard and still give them business in the future because we are just happy to be included. With this maneuver they are also indicating that a plus size woman should not receive clothing as a gift for the holidays. By not providing these size options they have hindered not only the shopper but also the gifter who is now unable to make a purchase. In reality through this disrespect they have not only excluded the average American woman who is a size 14 but also the holiday shoppers searching for the perfect gift for the voluptuous vixen in their life.  The fact that they think this will fly and that we will stay quiet is comical because as we all know we are better than that!

We cannot put up with this treatment and allow them to walk all over us. I personally have made a promise to myself that I will not set foot in that store or on the H&M website and will not be giving them a cent of my money from here on. I will not be sending shoppers to them and will not be forgiving their discrimination and disrespect. It is so important that we send a message to H&M that this is not ok, that we are not a toy for them to play with at their leisure and then toss aside in the blink of an eye.  In reality the biggest move we can make to show them that we deserve more is to spend our money elsewhere. While we may not be able to hit them where it hurts most, in their wallets, at this moment as they are literally asking us not to shop in their stores, reminiscent of another fat hating clothing company who inevitably had their ass handed to them by the plus size community. We must take any step we can to express our disapproval shouting it from the rooftops of our social media circles and by directly tagging and posting to the company, all of which I will be doing myself.

Fuck you H&M, my body is not here for your amusement, I will not be complacent, tossed aside or disrespected. What you have done is offensive to so many women for so many reasons and you should truly be ashamed of the ignorance that was shown with this decision.

At the end of the day, for me,  the score is pretty clear:

H&M: 0

Forever21: 100 the same amount of MY money they received today.

Game, set, match.

How do you feel about H&M and the choice they have made?

Xoxo

Stiletto

Thanks, For Everything

Today and every other day of the year I am grateful for simply being alive, having a roof over my head and food in the kitchen. It has been an incredibly rough year and I am so grateful that we are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are healthy mentally and physical, are working towards improving our lives and it fills me with hope.

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Even on the worst days I am so lucky to have such an amazing family and support system. I don’t know what I would do without my amazing partner who feeds my soul and will literally be feeding me today as well! Tess you are the most wonderful partner in life I could have ever imagined. Everyday when I wake up next to you I am comforted with our connection, understanding, equality and passion that exists in our relationship. You are my rock, my best friend and the love of my life. I am thankful for our 3 boys who are becoming incredible men. I appreciate everything about them from the way they fill our home with energy and laughter, the unconditional love they have and show us through their bear hugs and I love you’s on the regular, and that they are so strong mentally and physical and always willing to reach things on the top shelf for me. I am also very thankful for my parents and grandparents for being there for us, helping out when they can, being awesome Grandparents to the boys and for always having the time and the love to give. Last week I attended a psychic/medium party and was not only provided with some insight on my personal journey that I needed so immensely but also was contacted by my Dad in a way that made me feel full and connected even after 11 years.

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I am very grateful and appreciative for my new jobs. I love working in such a strong woman empowered business with some really incredible ladies who I feel after only a month get me and appreciate me. I am remembering how great I am at my job and that confidence boost is a gift from the universe. I also am getting an opportunity to be exposed to a diverse number of cultures and am learning a lot about the human condition. I am using my sociology degree in a way I never expected and it feels great. I have also been given the privilege to work part time for a local real estate agent, giving me the creative marketing work that I love. She is not only fabulous and kind but also trusts me and allows us to have an open and honest dialogue when it comes to her business.

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Lastly I am so eternally grateful for all of you, my readers, friends and chosen family. You have all been there for me so much over the last four years through my struggles, victories and failures. I learn new things from you everyday and know my life wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t have my blog, this outlet to help empower women and fulfillment of my passion. I am so privileged to consider some really incredible retailers, designers, models and bloggers my peers and love being part of this community. Thank you for that.

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Oh, and I’m thankful for my fabulous clothes, that I black eyeliner, lipstick and cupcakes!

What are you Thankful for today and everyday?

With Gratitude and infinite X’s and O’s,
Stiletto Siren

“Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe” DIY Coffee Mug

Hello Darlings!
I have been so busy with my new job(s) and getting used to my new increasingly busy schedule that I haven’t been able to post in a while. I am working on making more time for it and should be back to regularly posting soon. In the meantime I thought I would share a little DIY project I saw on Pinterest. I have been feeling a little out of touch with my creativity and thought it would be good for the soul to get crafty and make something. It actually came out better that I thought.

“Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe” Coffee Cup

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What You’ll Need:
-Sharpie Markers
-Pencil (old school, not mechanical)
-Scotch Tape
-Plain Coffee Cup
-An image you want to use sized to you cup size & printed on paper. Or some great free hand drawing and writing skills.

Directions:
1. Flip Image Over and shade pencil all over the back of image. Or draw on your own and skip to #4.
2. Flip image back over and tape to a clean coffee cup where you want image to be. The image should be facing you and the shadowing should be facing the cup.
3. Pressing firmly with your pencil trace the lines of the image. Remove the tape and image from the cup and you will see the outline of your image printed on the cup lightly in pencil.
4. Draw on the outline of the image with the Sharpies and fill in. This is all you and what you like counts!
-If you mess up at any point simply wash the cup with hot water and soap.
5.Turn your oven to 350 and immediately put in cup on your lower rack. Bake for 30 minutes.

Voilà! You have a new personalized cup.

Pretty easy right? Give it a try!

xoxo
Stiletto