Confessions Of Fat Femme Fashionista Stiletto Siren

So you know that yogurt commercial where its winter and the lady has hung up a yellow polka dot bikini up on the wall in her house, then she passes it everyday and eats a yogurt? This commercial irritates me and cracks me up all at the same time. That ugly ass bikini is like staring her down everyday and is basically screaming “HEY THUNDER THIGHS, TONS OF FUN, CHUBSTER ,YOU HAVE TO WEAR ME IN 4 MONTHS, EAT YOUR FUCKING YOGURT!” and then at the end of the commercial and 120ish days of yogurt eating it magically fits and OMG it is almost a little to big as you see it slip off her shoulder in an ”OPPS! Thanks INSERT YOGURT BRAND HERE” It seems pretty ridiculous when you actually think about it right? Using a form of clothing LITERALLY hanging on your wall to motivate you to lose weight (which we know was the whole goal of this commercial). Letting that bikini dictate your happiness, your self-worth, and standing as a big elephant in the room not only for anyone who enters your home but also for yourself…its fucking stupid and we all know it.

People do shit like this all the time. Brides are knows for buying too small in motivation to drop weight before their big day. Girls hang photos of themselves in smaller sizes on their refrigerators. People cut out clippings from magazine of what they want to look like (forgetting about all the retouching that goes into play) and all these other  unhealthy motivation tactics to lose weight and its fucking stupid. 

There was this girl in highschool she was  probably the most stubborn, opinionated and abrasive person I have ever met well aside  from her mother who was down right terrifying. We will call her M. Well M and I were in choir together for years, we were friends when it was convenient , enemies when it came to any type of competition and well I guess you would call us frenemies. Anyhoo during our senior year we were in varsity choir, which made us think we were the shit, and part of being in this choir was that you didn’t have to wear choir robes anymore (PRAISE FEMME!) The boys got to don tuxes and the girls got these black dresses that were sparkly in the bust. They weren’t incredibly fab but as far as choir dresses go they were pretty nice. The school owned the dresses so each year we all were asked our sizes and they choir mormons moms would do everything they could to fit us into a dress that had belonged to someone else from the years prior. Now I remember this day pretty well, any day as a fat girl  in highschool when you have to tell someone your true size or measurements is bad news bears, but i sucked it up and was honest. I knew that the year before us there was only one plus sized girl and that her dress would automatically fit our years largest female and that there would so not be a dress that would fit me, M, or one of the Self-Loathing Downers I mentioned here who were all the plus sized variety. I let the choir mom know my  true size and let her take my measurments to order me a new dress, as did the Self-Loathing Downer. M however called herself a medium, she was the same XL as me, (we shared clothes at one point)  grabbed a dress and ran off to the bathroom to put it on. Later she came out back in her normal clothes and said “Yep, fits like a glove” and pranced off in a braggish manner babbling about how she fit in T’s (the girl who owned it before who was considered a perfect hourglass) dress.  Over the next 3 months before our first concert M skipped meals, exercised like fiend, beat herself down mentally for any lapses in dietary judgement and basically had a pretty shitty life. I on the other chubby hand enjoyed myself, lived happily without stress and pressure to lose weight and opened a brand spanking new dress. Who the hell would want the hand me down anyways? M did manage to fit into the dress in time, just barely, seriously I’m pretty sure she almost passed out in it a couple times. Was she happy about it? Sure, but was it worth it, not from this self loving fatties point of view. By the way saw her a year after we graduated and she had gained all the weight back…proof again DIETS DON”T WORK!

Anyways back to the point using smaller size motivation tactics is bad for your mental health. It promotes negative energy about your size reality, adds pressure to an already extremely high pressure idea to battle the bulge and worst of all takes the fun out of clothes. Why own something you can’t fit into? You are throwing money into something you can’t be 100% positive you are every going to be able to wear. You are allowing an outfit to be the elephant in the room to your self hate. By doing shit like this you are also letting the world know how much you dislike your body and where is the good in that? There is no way that this is going to be a step to a Happily Fatshionable you so cut this shit out right now if you are doing it.

So when shopping buy the size that fits, that is comfortable, that you love and for all the right reasons. That is made to fit a body like yours and don’t play into the idea that there is anything wrong with being exactly as you are, be a Happily Fatshionable YOU!

Next Week I will be wrapping up The Happily Fatshionable Series and will be taking on a new page on this blog called Happily Fatshionably YOU! We will be showcasing girls who embody Happily Fatshionable in their best outfits. If you would like to be a Happily Fatshionably YOU guest please email me at StilettoSiren@live.com with 3 photos of you in your 3 best outfits. Include a small paragraph about where you got the clothes (help a shopping sista out!) and why they make you feel Happily Fatshionable. This will also be an opportunity for you to plug your own site/blog if you have one. Along with this I will be adding a new blog roll to my site and will include the site of any Happily Fatshionably YOU guests.

Please email me and let’s make this a great page where we can see some Happy Fatshionable ladies looking FAB!