While I am normally all about celebrating important dates and milestones in a completely extravagant manner, today I celebrate my 4 year blogiversary in a bit of a more personal and sentimental fashion. When I started StilettoSiren.com four years ago I was in a completely different place and was a completely different person. Over the years I have shared not only my outfits but also my relationship with my body, my beauty and myself. I have shared stories and important events in my life with all of you and in return you have given me the privileged of getting to know you and hear your stories as well. You all have contributed to the success of this blog and in all honestly Stiletto Siren wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you. You are all my friends and I appreciate you more than you can imagine. Over the last few weeks I have been spending a lot of time thinking about who I am and my life and have faced qualities, moments and values that make me feel accomplished and proud, as well as some that have made me feel ashamed of myself for times I have strayed from those values. Today’s post, a recent entry from my personal and very private journal, marks the next chapter for me and for Stiletto Siren: A Life & Style Blog With Curves.
I spent some time with the dearest of old friends today. They reminded me of who I am, what I wished for and where I was lost along the way. I was reminded to live with purpose, dream with integrity and seek a life not only with moments of love, happiness and ambition, but also moments of failure, sacrifice redemption, grace, fortitude, compassion, and forgiveness, even for myself. I was allowed to grieve the loss of me, and was given the greatest gift, to cry unapologetically not only for my mistakes but also for my victories. I was told to open my eyes, believe in the good of the world, and to embrace the darkness found in the immensely menacing possibility of losing one’s heart’s desire or even worse gaining it and having nothing to desire any longer . Today people that I love helped me to see that there is magic in the world, that everyone can have a taste of that magic, that I have dreams to remember and that what I do matters, even if only to myself, because it is what got me here, to this very moment.
There are times in life that feel just the same as coming across an old photograph of who we were for a moment in time. Those times typically manifest themselves in one of two ways, with picture perfect nostalgia, a reminder of when you felt alive, and a wish for the better days or with regret and shame over something as simple as a toxic relationship, a bad haircut or even a moment of unbearable complacency. In those moments whether we celebrate them or lock them away in our fears and uncertainties we have to remember that the past is just that, the past, and whether it was everything we could have dreamed of or a memory so painful it stings our cheeks, it was simply a part of our journey. The journey can be long or short, and the destination can be reached at any given moment. Happiness is not the destination as so many have said and neither is success, fame, stability or any of what we may have been taught it to be. I was reminded today that the destination is the journey, and once we stop looking at the destination like a place we have to reach we can truly be able to enjoy the ride.
Today I enjoyed the ride through tears, laughter, and awakened clarity. I remembered and allowed myself to feel everything I needed, took stock of where I am, where I’ve fallen short, where I have felt that magic, felt those wishes come true, and created new dreams to chase including the dream of who I want to be for the next part of the journey. Now that I have visited those moments and remembered all of these things, I find myself reignited to push forward, to learn from the past and to cut loose the parts of life that rob me of the joyful conditions of this journey. Today I spent some time with the dearest of old friends and they reminded me of everything that I am, have been, and can be.
Thank you all for joining me on this journey and I hope we all enjoy the ride!